Get all 363 Wheelchair Full of Old Men releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Dog Of The Hair - Dog Of The Hair, Food Fortunata - My Mind is an Awful Place, Jayden Mont / Food Fortunata - split, Flesh For Frank - Delerium Tremens, Dunce - Songs of Hate and Repulsion, 100 Story Building Drowning in Cum - Oi! Freak / Wheelchair Full of Old Men, Forms of Insanity - Forms of Insanity/Cesspools of Life, ARMLESS AND ANGRY - Rejected, and 355 more.
1. |
Needles & Fruit Punch
02:15
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Gremlins shaped like ostrich beaks, Take apart those who are weak, Cruising down the avenue, Talking about pee and poo, Here’s advice that you can use, Don’t play rock, don’t play blues, Put the children in their beds, Tie a cucumber to their heads
Toilet brings us our lunch
Needles and fruit punch
Take a bite of an axe
Pay the sales tax
Horrible people all around, Disemboweled without a sound, It is neat how bad we taste, Poking holes in solid waste, Some thumbtacks on our chairs, Getting mauled by grizzly bears, Utah is a state that’s fine, I have yours, you have mine
Chorus
Crying loudly in our hands, Cutting out adrenal glands, Like they did in Red & Rosy, Everything all nice and cozy, Rabid animals now attack, We taste good, cuz we a snack, Time to die, we don’t care, I’m sucking down the poison air
Chorus
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2. |
Crappy Priest
02:54
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The crappy priest took a needle and put it through the kid’s arm, the crappy priest smiled, he thought he did it with a world of charm, The crappy priest was wrong, the crappy priest should go, The crappy priest is an undercover agent of the pope
Get lost now mister, We don’t care for what you do, Drop dead now buddy, Your act, sadly, is nothing new
The shit congressman took a dump, he wanted us to smell it, The shit congressman smiled slyly just for the hell of it, He grasped his gun so tight that we thought it was his dick, The shit congressman’s playtime makes us all feel sick
Chorus
The ignorant doctor told us we were unaware, We asked the ignorant doctor for advice, but he didn’t care, The ignorant doctor jumped in a sportscar and ran over a child, Compared to the other shit he gets up to, that was kind of mild
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3. |
Gangrene is What You Get
02:55
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Caught in between goats, looking for supreme sailboats, Utah flexed its muscles again, You are great, you can count to ten
Crying out like a stuck pig, You are small, that guy is big, There’s no sense in being upset, A case of gangrene is just what you get
Salads made from ham and eggs, Doggy commits arson and doggy begs, Earwigs crawling on the walls, Heed the warning, nature calls
Chorus
Grapefruit juice poured in open wounds, We sat down and watched the movie High Noon, I’m not creative, it should be clear, You smell my breath when I am near
Chorus
Listen now, it’s not so hard, Go to the store and get a pound of lard, Grease up granny, watch her go to that steamy place down below
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4. |
Shake & Bake Amphibian
02:50
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Please don’t feed me horseshit and call it cake
Just toss my salad in the lake
Swans can drown as easily as paramedics do
Who’s to say whether it is right for Ed Asner to sniff glue?
At an arm’s length
Embattled but still strong
Everything my father does
Is inherently wrong
Put the lights out and burn down the Christmas tree
You say you think it costs too much even though it is free
Contracting diseases is never a mistake
Prepare the frog for dinner, please use Shake & Bake
Chorus
Someone was heard crying on the mountain
Someone yelled that they were out of cottage cheese
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5. |
Accent of Toilet Crumbs
02:06
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Water cascading into our throats, Drowning most of the mystery goats, Don’t cry for Tony, he made his choice, Buried in veal, he still has a voice
Cast adrift in an ocean of barf
Lost without a warm winter scarf
Lupus catches up silent as death
Howard Cosell said we all have bad breath
Soaring in the sky on eagle wings, I threw out a box of stale Wheat Thins, Structures crumble while we all watch, Saint Leopold kicked me right in the crotch
Chorus
Tired but restless, now night descends, This is the end of all of our friends, More water torture so that we’re sure, Should we take the challenge or should we demur?
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6. |
Warm Flat Can of Blatz
02:28
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Compost heap with lots of turtles crawling through the coffee grounds
Who can stand the awful sounds? Not Mr. Ed
Crying out in pain is fun, if you can’t think how to act
It’s really a sad sad fact that my legs dissolved
Superman has met his match
A warm flat can of Blatz
A bird perched on a windowsill
It was taught to kill
Spiderman has our lives in his hands
He often winks with a grin
He knows original sin
My neck hurts, twenty cents spent at a garage sale on nick knacks and underwear
Spoon fee the bourgeoisie with antelopes causing auto accidents
Out on the rotunda, beetles and ghosts roam around
They haven’t brushed their teeth in weeks
I’m destined to b strangled by Eugene V. Debs
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7. |
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Who is that all chained up? Put a bird inside a paper cup, 40 leagues under the sea, Lots of chewing gum for you and me
Cassius Clay brought potato chips
And some chapstick for our busted lips
Why do you like to make an ostrich blush? My mind now is completely mush, Hope springs eternal when you are dumb, Combine potato chips with chewing gum
Chorus
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8. |
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Catatonic
Moronic
Embryonic
Supersonic
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9. |
Radical Pee View
01:58
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Radical Pee Views
We don’t want to think about our urine, Because we want to talk about playing Galaxian, We forgot to come carrying our notebooks, Because Galaxian has no patterns to learn
Cross this thing off your list, Heated discussion about piss, Give me something I can use, Only radical pee views
Cooperate with us and learn some Pac Man moves, Scrape all the dog feces off of your shoes, We like to get to the 9th key level if possible, If not, we’ll play that dumbass Bosconian game
Chorus
Challenge level on Mr. Do! You’re a goner, so are you, Can’t we serve a piece of cake?, Can’t we play Tempest until the sun rises?, Can’t we play Robotron with no shirts on?
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10. |
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Why travelling in the subway? Why always never brush teeth? Why aluminum foil shirts? Why so much missing hope?
So wrong, so long, porkchops with tuxedos
So wrong, so long, chess game against Joe Lis
Why the hurt that never goes away? Why newspaper subscription? Why antelope? Why horse-drawn carriage? Why long division by nine?
Chorus
Why a moon that revolves around pudding? Why never late with postage stamps? Why conglomeration of carnival rides? Why bristles? Why lice?
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11. |
Ham Sandwiches For All!
02:27
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Kindhearted giraffe, why do you forsake me, with your blue tongue and collection of smurf figurines?
Glue footed sphinx, why do you wish to harm me, with your tentacles of strength and box of Kix cereal?
Owl giblets, prune Danish, clear cut the forest, ham sandwiches for all
Pretty little gazelle, why must you run, being consumed by the lion is your only function
Irritated loon, why do you try to hide, inside of a can of coffee with your friend the wily lynx
Chorus
Creased in half rhinoceros, why don’t you give up now, you can’t win with that horn on your face
Aromatic orangutan, why do you eat so many skittles, you know that M&M’s taste better
Chorus
Clown with half his foot cut off, why are you so insane, can’t you just enjoy a rollercoaster ride
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12. |
Twist It Off
02:10
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Squid appears on screen, He is wasted on Jim Beam
What way did this occur? Big cowboy and big spurs
Take the top, twist it off, pour in glue, dental floss
My ankle broke in the spring, we want peaches that are cling, Quit reading braille with your teeth, Put sword right back in sheath
Chorus
Clowns can jump off a bridge, We don’t care, not a smidge, It’s funny when porpoises die, because they got shit in their eye
Chorus
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13. |
Trundle Bed Enema
03:28
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14. |
Flavor of Clowns
04:05
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Sawdust to cover the recently deceased, Make sure the slacks are pressed and properly creased, Genius is tough to do wrapped up in barbed wire, Telly Savalas refused to join the choir
Taste the flavor of clowns, it’s not unlike cornchips, Taste the essence of clowns, smother it in Q-tips
Kindness is wrong and I think you know it, It’s time to fix that hole and you can sew it, Toilets lurk behind every other shadow, Shows what the hell you know – nothing!
Chorus
People complain about things in their lives, Funny fella goes home to sharpen his knives, You’ll see him downtown at the grocery store, He ends up happy, you end up on the floor
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